Friday, August 14, 2009

Average

I have never been really good at anything. I dabble in all kinds of crafts like cross stitch, knitting, crocheting, sewing, quilting, beading, and more, but I have never truly mastered any of them. Even in my cooking-I can cook and bake-but it is nothing spectacular, just average.

All my life I have been just average. Average height, weight (not now, that is above average), plain brown hair, not really pretty but not ugly, not rich, not poor, an average husband, two kids, a dog or 2. I was always pretty average in school as well.

Sometimes I really want to be someone special. Someone who can do something that makes people say WOW. I would love to amaze people with my cooking or baking, be such a great seamstress people are begging me to do some sewing for me.

I often look over my life and think it has not been so bad. At other times I feel so very average, maybe a little below average. I want to accomplish so much but I don't have what it takes.

I know I should not look at other people's lives and compare to mine but I do, we all do. I see people hanging out with their friends and I feel lonely. My friend is done with me. She has moved on. I have acquaintances at church but have not become really close to anyone. Some ladies just went on a camping trip-sad to say I was jealous. I don't even really know these women but I want to be a part of something like that. I want to have friends who want to get together for lunch or do a camping trip or go shopping or have tea. I guess this is where I fall below average because of the lack of friends.